How Consent Creates Healthy Communication & Relationships

With the warmer months finally here, we are entering what many solteros have been longing for: un verano de diversión, amor and meaningful connections. We want to remind our comunidad about ways to create communication rooted in both on and off the app.

We all value healthy and honest conversations and understand the importance of establishing both their 'green flags' and their boundaries in order to have a positive dating experience. This begins when mutual consent between all parties is agreed upon, sin presión, culpa o coerción.

Por eso, to help our chisperos navigate online communications and make consent part of the conversation, we worked in collaboration with NSVRC, me too international, Human Rights Campaign, RAINN, No More, and University of Maryland to share tips and help users set personal boundaries on what they feel comfortable with.

In-app Notifications & Education:

We believe that when you, Chisper@, have more awareness and education on safety and consent, you are more likely to focus on emphasizing safe practices in real life, ya tu sabes, en la vida real. Es por eso we are educating and encouraging you to practice good communication and be a better dater (o sea… a better novi@)

• Yes, o SI, is for consent. Makes dating easier y más divertido para todos

• It’s your journey, sé tu mism@. Everyone has different likes and dislikes, so active communication is important when you are getting to know someone.

• Feel empowered, es tu decisión. We all change our minds and moods, so es importante to check in about intimate interactions consistently, both online and in person, and feel empowered to say yes or no.

• Respect boundaries, esta bien decir NO. If someone says no, accept their decision and be respectful and understanding of their feelings.

• Always trust your instincts (que ellos no se equivocan). Don’t feel pressured to say yes to something that you don’t feel 100% comfortable with.

How communication can establish personal boundaries:

Always ask their preferences and use clear language to avoid misunderstanding. One way to confirm if someone is comfortable is asking, “Are you comfortable talking about what you like and dislike sexually? I’d love to learn more about what’s important to you.”

It’s okay to set boundaries and stick with them. Be supportive of people setting boundaries, and accept “no” with understanding. ¡Está bien decir no!”

Not in the mood? Make it known. Dilo como es

We all change our minds and moods, so it’s important to check in about intimate interactions consistently, both online and in person. Just because someone said “yes” one time, doesn’t mean they will be in the mood the next time o cualquiera de las próximas.

Sometimes you may agree to engage in something, and then you or the other person changes their mind once it begins. It’s important to let each other know and then respect boundaries. If you are uncomfortable, you might say: “I’m starting to feel uncomfortable and would like to stop talking about this.” If someone expresses discomfort, be understanding and supportive. It can be as simple as saying: “That’s okay!” ¡No te preocupes!

Understanding the other person’s dislikes and preferences not only makes the communication safer, but also more fun. ¡Ay si!

Safety and consent do not end when conversations move off-app or when meeting IRL. If at any point someone feels uncomfortable or wants to make a report of someone crossing your boundaries, we encourage our Chisperos to report it back to Chispa. To report on or off-app behavior, a user can click on “Report a Concern,” which can be found on the member profile, or report it directly to our Customer Care team.